I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
