yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
