i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
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