Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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