So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
