Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
