New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
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