I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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