I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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