Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
