what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
