Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize