i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Randomize
