Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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