I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
