girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Randomize
