We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
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Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
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I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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