Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
