Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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