I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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