That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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