I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
