let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
