have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Randomize
