You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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