Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
