i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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