You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
