Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
don't judge my taste in strippers
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
