i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
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Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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