one two three fourrrrnication!
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
