so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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