I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Randomize
