At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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