The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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