I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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