Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize