just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize