Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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