You were right. It hurts to walk today.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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