google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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