my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
