My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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