I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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