hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
