i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
