I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
send nudes
from the living room?
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