You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
