You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize