a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
You took a bar mat shot.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
