i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
