well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
