her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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