So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
