I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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