I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
you would pick up someone in the library
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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