Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize