Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
