didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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