He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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