the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
