I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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