9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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