please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
