Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
We talked him into tasing himself.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
