she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
