OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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